To begin, I’ll preface this with, “This is not a pity party!” I figure if I write this out, I’ll be more accountable for my goals and hopefully some of you can relate!
Back when I was working, I dreamed of the day where I could be a stay-at-home mom. I would be supermom. I would have a spotless house, a happy, stimulated, well-developed child that I would read to every day, I would document every teeny milestone, and have home-cooked meals on the table for dinner every night. Let’s not forget the Pinterest-worthy cupcakes I would bake. I would blog all the time, keep up with Pinterest, facebook, Twitter, and now Instagram, because I would be home all day long, and I would have time for these things. I would have perfectly manicured nails, and best of all, I would be thin because I’d take the baby on walks every day and have time to frequently use my dusty old exercise DVDs.
In reality…
I think I spent more time doing all those things when I was actually working.
I really don’t know where the days go, but something needs to change! Ben is now almost 5 months old and I am hardly living up to my expectations. My excuses? Weak at best. Ben has never had a consistent nap schedule, so I’ve never been able to, say, make a lasagna during his afternoon nap, because that nap doesn’t exist every day! The fact that he’s been quiet enough for 20 minutes for me to write this is a miracle in itself. Lately, he’s been getting bored and whiny and I need to change his activity about every 15 minutes. Can’t get much done in 15 minutes. And I also hate interruptions. If I can’t finish something in one “go,” I won’t even try. This clearly does not work with a baby. Honestly, if I want to cook a nice meal, I need to start at 2:00 in order to have it ready by 6, with all the interruptions.
Anyway, not good excuses! I always said that if I’m at home, that will be my job. And frankly, if this were my real job, I would have been fired a long time ago!
I am more like this:
Except Lynette (above, Desperate Housewives, people!) is actually wearing a shirt in the above photo, with laundry in the background, implying she does laundry (to be fair, I do laundry, but it usually sits in the dryer or in the laundry basket for at least a week before I put it away). When I get “dressed” in the morning, that usually consists of putting on mom jeans yoga pants (or their comfy cousin, leggings, if I’m feeling fancy) and a fresh nursing tank (fresh nursing tank optional, dirty overnight nursing tank likely).
I remember learning about “cognitive dissonance” in my psychology classes in college. Where a person has strongly held beliefs but acts in a way opposite to those beliefs. Like someone who knows how bad smoking is for health, but smokes anyway. It causes all kind of anxiety and other nonsense and it’s just not a healthy state of mind!
So, I’m going to make some baby steps for change. Starting with a chore chart (inspired by Molly @Stilettos & Diapers), today!
Anyone have tips for “doing it all”?
Heather
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Don't worry. you'll probably fall into a routine! Take baby steps. The napping thing is a hard one, though. I hate not knowing what to expect. Is his napping schedule something you could change? I remember working really hard to get a schedule, but once it was done, I was so much free-er! Is that a word? :) I liked the book "baby whisperer" for that. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI follow a baby lead schedule so when he needs to nap, he naps, when he needs to eat, he eats. We don't have set times for anything. I don't think that a schedule is key for my family though I know it is for others. It will get easier with time. I wear my youngest a lot and that is how I manage to get just about anything I do done!
ReplyDeleteI love her chore chart! Maybe I can post that next to my spiffy new meal planning board! OOOORRR make a matching chore board! Eeeep! I also have high expectations of becoming fit because I'll get to go for walks. Ha.
ReplyDeleteTrust me when I say when you have a 5 month old no one expects you to be able to do it all! My son is almost 4 & there are days where laundry sits & sits. Dirty Pj's are swapped for less dirty pj's and there is no real schedule or routine to be found. Its a learning process & something you'll eventually get the hang off. Your baby will get older & you'll find more time to do the stuff you *think* you should do. But right just go with the everyday flow.
ReplyDelete@Krysta
ReplyDeleteThanks for the tip on the baby whisperer! I actually have that book, and like many other things I planned to do (like reading more!), I haven't yet. I'll have to check it out now!
@Kristen
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kristen! That's pretty much how I roll too - following what Ben wants to do. I was wearing him a lot but got away from it the past month or two, so I'm busting out the babywearing gear more frequently - it's the only way I can get things done, and he loves it!
@Megan B.B.
ReplyDeleteOMG now you have to make a matching chore board!!!! And the post another tutorial, so I can make one :)
@Alex
ReplyDeleteThank you, Alex - that really does make me feel better!! It's also good to know I'm not alone :)
Just visited your blog - looove it, and added to my Google Reader - and I laughed myself to tears at the "Wow the house is so clean" someecard you have up!