Nipple pulling, face fondling, throat punching, nose grabbing, gut kicking.
Every night, in my bedroom.
Sounds like 50 Shades of Grey, right?
Nope.
Around here, we call it “bedtime.”
I never thought I would be “one of those wierdos” who co-slept. Never did I think our baby would end up sleeping in our bed period, let alone for this long. And never ever did I expect to love co-sleeping as much as I do. Ben refuses to cuddle all day long and won’t even sit on my lap for longer than 30 seconds, so I love when night comes and he falls asleep next to me and I can just smell his hair, feel his baby soft skin, and just love on his cute self. And I believe in co-sleeping – the researched benefits and the benefits I’ve discovered on my own.
I mean, who wouldn’t want to roll over and wake up to this:
Except that bedtime has become a bit of a nightmare. Our dearest Benjamin has started “sleepwalking.” He falls asleep and then does awake things every. single. night. He’s a beast to get to go to sleep – kicking, flailing, the whole bit – and not a, “I don’t want to go to bed tantrum,” – it’s more of a working-out-the-energy-explosion. When he finally starts drifting off, he sits straight up, mumbles, then falls on his face in a dead sleep. He’s taken to climbing our pillows and headboard then flops on his back – dead sleep again.
Last night, after a good deal of flailing-while-sleeping, he sleep-crawled his way up my pillows and legit slept in this position for about two hours:
![IMAG1341[1]](http://lh6.ggpht.com/-WBoOq0d9crk/UCvfOjKYcfI/AAAAAAAAPTQ/l9btrIpJHMU/s1600-h/IMAG134117.jpg "IMAG1341[1]")
This is when I get on my high horse and proclaim to our co-sleeping-naysayers-kin, “SEE! It would be DANGEROUS if he was sleeping in his crib right now, because he sits and stands and falls so fitfully, it’s a SAFETY CONCERN. He could knock himself out on the crib rails!”
Amiright?
But for real, it is a safety concern. He can’t be left alone in our bed, because he could sleep crawl right off. So from 8:00 pm until 8:00 am, I’m kind of a bedroom prisoner (#soundssexybutitsnot… #yesIjusthastaggedablogpost), monitoring Ben. Last week, I nearly shat myself because I woke up in the middle of the night and Ben was not in his usual spot in between me and Derek. I was frantically flailing my arms around in the dark, blind without my glasses/contacts, thinking my baby disappeared in thin air.
I don’t think clearly when waking up in the middle of the night, mmmkay?
I finally found him, at the bottom of our king-size bed, in between our feet.
I bought him to the pediatrician last week to discuss (side note: 24.4 pounds!), and she wasn’t concerned in the slightest. Aside from recommending I stop nursing him to sleep as a general tip unrelated to the sleepwalking (thanks lady, didn’t ask for advice on that), she had no suggestions.
So, I’ve decided that enough is enough, and in a fit, purchased this, which could not arrive soon enough:
I am hoping that by getting him into some semblance of normal sleep, we will also get him into some kind of nap schedule. Because most days, he’s No Naps McGee.
As for the location of said sleeping, I’m on the fence. I love co-sleeping, but I also feel like I would enjoy time to myself like most other parents get when their child is happily snoozing in the next room. But then I immediately feel guilty - how can I not give him the benefits of co-sleeping because I need time to myself? Then I think I might be a better mom if I had that alone time…
And the internal debate thus continues.
Derek has given Ben an eviction notice and he will be out the door by age 1. Which is a mere 3 months away (!). I go back and forth on it, but D & I are going on a baby-free vacation in January, and I’m sure my parents would be less than pleased to have to share a bed with a 1-year-old while we’re gone.
I’m scared that we’ll transition him to his crib and I’ll really miss co-sleeping. And I imagine that would be confusing for him and a waste of our effort to get him into the crib only to let him back in our bed again.
Oy.
Keep your fingers crossed that we make some kind of headway and all parties are satisfied!
I put V to sleep in her own bed every night now (in her own room)
ReplyDeleteShe typically wakes up around 6 or 7am, and I'll go grab her and bring her back in my bed (E is gone by then) and nurse her. Typically she'll fall back to sleep for an hour or so. That's how I get my snuggle time. Good luck!
I could eat his little baby cheeks!!
ReplyDeleteWow. You got yourself a sticky situation. I have never slept in the same bed with my children. I like my own space. Teagan sleeps in her crib beside our bed and only because we have a 2 bedroom house and my oldest is occupying the other room. And she is too old to be sharing a room with her little sister. I hate to break it to you but co-sleeping is gonna bite you in the ass girl later on. I have seen it. It took my cousin til the age of 13 to get out of his moms bed. I am pretty sure you would love to have sex with your husband. And I am sure that having sex on the couch out in the living room while Ben sleeps in ya'lls bed while being unattended doesn't help the mood either. If he has his own space and is inclosed, he will be okay. When we put Tea down for nap/bedtime, I take her in there with her 2 MUST HAVE blankies, lay her down and say "Nigh Night" and walk out and shut the door. Flick the baby monitor on. But bedtimes are different for every parent and child.
ReplyDeleteI am not telling you what to do so don't think that. I am just telling you what works for us. You never know, it might work for you and you can get out of prison ;)
bahahaha you make me laugh. and your son is the cutest. ever. seriously. have my babies.
ReplyDeleteHa when I saw your tweet I was dying to read this post. Clearly my mind was in the gutter. I am sort of in your situation but just two years ahead. I always gave my little guy a baba to go sleep. When we took the bottle away it turned into a milk sippy cup in my bed. Oh, and he needed me to be right next to him while he fell asleep. After two hours I would finally transfer him to his bed and bring him back to our bed when he woke in the middle of the night.
ReplyDeleteLast month I hit my breaking point and realized this bedtime routine was making me miserable. I dusted off my no cry sleep solution (had bought it like 2 years ago) and have been working on a new routine. 3 weeks in and he sleeps in his own bed going to sleep and if he wakes in the middle of the night I go in and comfort him but he has to stay in his bed. I feel much saner!
In the end you have to do what your comfortable doing.